Simple Life

I cant believe that 2007 will be almost over in less than 12 hours. I was asked by my hubby this morning  If I were to change something in 2007 what would it be? And my answer was "none, nothing". Im just grateful for anything that happened to me over the year. It may not be all rosy and happy but Im just glad that things were not worse. I seriously have nothing that i regretted doing. I have great friends who are really understanding, great parents who are really supportive, great hubby who is so ever loving in his own way and great in laws who may not be perfect but they are cool! But most of all Im just grateful for the precious gift that Im carrying now.

So I hope 2008, will be a better year for me for I will be welcoming my precious one in January for a start. Hope to be more prosperous next year!!

Almost into 28th weeks and I have been told by everyone that my tummy doesnt look like Im in my 7th month. Should I worry or should I be glad? My tummy may not appear like other preggers but Im sure feeling like them. The back aches and the trouble sleeping( sometimes only but when i dozed off I really doze off!) are starting to get on my nerves. Whats worse is that I dont have anyone to rub my  back  or to entertain my whining or wants as my other half is not around for 3 weeks!! I guess its 3 weeks break for him..hehehe..Yeah I know I shouldnt whine as this should be the most wonderful experience for any woman  all but I just miss my other half so much.

I notice that all the pain of being pregnant vanish when I see my lil one during my monthly check up. Got to see his face and other features last month in 4D and at that point of time I could see my hubby almost broke into tears. And I was supposed to be the emotional one. My monthly check up is an event that we both look fwd to..just to see our lil one’s progress.

Counting the days when I get to actually hold my lil one in my arms. To my precious lil one in my womb, mummy and daddy may not be perfect but we’ll try to be the best parents for u. Both of us are anxiously waiting for ur arrival.

Friends and families , I know its still early but  please pray for me and my baby’s health during this pregnancy and of course the safety of the delivery. Your prayer counts!

What would u do if ure stuck in a situation where u were window shopping with your husband and you saw the spouse of someone who are close to you shopping with another woman? I am so bloody confused on what to do right now.  Would u betray the person close to you by keeping your mouth shut? I was in this kinda situation twice where I caught a very close friend of mine’s boyfriend at a hotel with another girl and I decided to tell her( after she told me she had a feeling that her boyfriend was cheating on her)and it backfired me. We are now no longer good friends.

I know I would wanna know If any of my good friends saw my hubby with another girl. So should I do the same by telling? I dont wanna be in the same situation as before especially not with this person as I am only getting to be close to her especially after years of not in talking term. So friends please tell me what is the right thing to do?

I so hate myself now to be in this such instability state. One time I can be so happy and the next thing I  know I’d be crying for no reason at all. The worst part is I trash it out on my husband who is so ever ready to get all the trashing. Though sometimes he couldnt take it anymore and plainly ignore me which made me feel worse. Sometimes I feel guilty about it but most of the time I feel that he has not done enough. But what is enough actually?

I just want this first stage to be over with safely without any complications. It gets worse when I look myself in the mirror and see myself expanding each day but I keep on comforting myself saying its a good thing. Not to mention the bloating feeling that I am experiencing everyday. Girls this is what we call 24/7 PMS! Well I should look at the bright side, at least I dont feel the need to throw up everywhere and all the time. Looking forward for Monday to see how the progress has been. Friends and families wish me luck in venturing this new experience and pray for our wellness.

Had a weird dream last nite that woke me up at dawn touched. There was my hubby, ex fiance and a guy close friend of almost 10 years and I had to choose one of them to spend my life with.

Its weird cos Im married and I was supposed to be having this kinda dreams before not after Im married.In that dream I had the chance to be in a car with my ex fiance and had a conversation. We talked, argued and I found myself irritated that I got out of the car. My husband happened to be outside and I went to him. Then my ex got out too and all of us sat together. My ex kept criticizing my husband but he remained silent and smiled all the way. Guess I was pissed off with my ex that I told him Off and walked away with my husband leaving him behind. Suddenly my guy friend appeared and the three of us sat and talked but it wasnt long cos suddenly It was only the two of us..Me and My hubby..

I woke up and gave a hug and a kiss to my hubby who was still sleeping soundly next to me. I guess my actions woke him up and his first word to me was "Manjanyer". He kissed my forehead and I told him about my dream. I was suprised that he didnt make fun or laughed about it. Instead he was so thoughtful and told me that he was glad that I chose him. We kissed and continued our sleep.

I have no idea what the dream meant but Its all I needed to assure myself that I have made the right decision.

I always wonder why is it God create us Women with so much pain to bear with? First there is of course the PMS which comes monthly with the stomach cramps and mood swings. My ex used to call it Mad Cow Disease cos for two weeks of every month I would just find faults and pick up a fight with him.  And if we dont face this monthly and to be exact 9 months, the worse pain will be waiting…LABOUR PAIN!! I heard that its 10 times worse than the period cramps and the pregnancy hassle that mothers- to- be have to go through varies. Some have cravings for weird stuff and some have morning sickness. And this is only physical pain that we’re talking about. Not to mention how extra sensitive women can be.

But as i think it over, Im kinda glad that Im a Woman. Im proud to be one as it is the most beautiful creature that God has created. Who would ever thought that with such beautiful and fragile body, lies the ability to store a human life and actually deliver them to earth. This is the reason y we see men who would go through painful operations just to convert themselves into one of US. Yeah they are women who prefer to act, talk or dress up like man which makes me wonder why on earth would they do that. Is it to show they are more superior than men? Why hide their femininity when they can actual be better than men just by being themselves?

With all the pain that I have to go through as a woman Im sttill proud to be a woman. I know Im like 5 days late but its still not too late for me to wish every woman out there..Happy Woman’s Day!!

How time flies cos I just realised that its already the end of the year. Just got back from a long and unforgettable break. Yes It was a torture to start work after a long break! 1 week taken for my Big Day and another of course the Honeymoon! Suprisingly my wedding went smoothly considering our last minute preparation. Who would ever thought we prepared everything in less than 3 months!

My honeymoon was of course to remember for the rest of my life thanks to my loving hubby. The hassle that he had to go through to make our honeymoon memorable was worth it. I enjoyed every second of it. It never crossed my mind that he could be romantic but I guess I had underestimate him. Never had a guy swept me off my feet the way he had during our honeymoon. Spent 3 days 2 nights in Bali in a beautiful private villa with private pool. And Yes we did go for sight seeing to beautiful places as well.Returning home was such a drag.

Adapting to life after that was a challenge to me also. Its weird having to live with someone and tolerate his behaviour. Marriage is not all happy and joyful all the time. But what is marriage without a few squabbles there and then.

My first day of work was horrible. I had to work till 4 in the morning the next day, went back and continued working till 12 in the afternoon. To top it all I was not well and had to take MC the day after. Obviously the workload was definitely a big shock to my system.

New year is coming and planning to move to our own love nest. Will be celebrating Raya Haji and New Year with my hubby. But the best part is all my new year resolution has been achieved. I read my last year’s entry on my new year resolution and realised that I have achieved everything. Quit smoking..I have quite once I got back from my honeymoon ( even though its only been 2 weeks). Lose weight..yup manage to do that before i got married and it was all worth the effort cos I didnt look fat on my wedding day. Travel somehwhere..yes I managed to go to Bali twice this year once in Feb and of course my honeymoon with my luv. And of course the resolution which I thought was impossible but I managed to achieve was own a house. Even though its just a condo and not a landed property at least I know that its mine from my hard earned money. So there..thats my achievement!! But of course the BEST ACHIEVEMENT so far is I manage to settle down with a DECENT man who everyone loves.FINALLY huh!! It took me a lot of guts to decide to finally settle in and  a lot of luck to find a DECENT man whom I actually fall hard for.

Really looking forward for next year and what it has in store for me..

wherToday is the 1st Dec and It suddenly hit  me that I have a week  to actually enjoy my single days. How time flies! I have mixed emotions whenever I think that Im going to be SOMEONE’S WIFE! I get excited thinking it would be a whole new experience and journey down the road and scared thinking I have to LIVE with the same guy and tolerate him for the rest of my life! I sometimes question my capability of becoming a good wife to my husband. At this stage I ask myself what would I like to do before I end my single life? Right now I couldnt think of anything cos I have done everything and even If I havent I have my Life Partner to do it with.  Anyways so much preparation needed to be done last minute!!!

Thanks to my  MMU girl friends for organizing My Hen Nite. I had fun and Its been a while since we actually hang out together and make a fool of ourselves. Hehehe. Another one is coming organized by my best friend and I am looking forward to it cos I know its going to be a blast.

To my flings and scandals I know you guyts are going to miss me..Hehehe..Im going to miss all of u too

To my SINGLE friends out there..DO NOT and I repeat DO NOT leave me out from your outings cos my life will still be the same married or not..

And of course to my DESTINY..I am really looking forward to be with you and to spend the rest of my life with you. Happy 13th month anniversary and Love u hun!!

Its Our 365th Day, a year after the first day we met. A lot of ups and downs that we had to go through to get to where we are now. The hardest part is because we are so opposite of each other, one is outgoing and the other is shy,one is the homey type and the other is restless, one had a long list of prior relationships and the other could not even defined the only previous relationship and the list goes on.

So how do we actually survived? I often ask myself the same thing and the answer is that we complement each other . Of course Patience is also important I think. And one of the main thing that holds us together is that we share the same purpose and direction in the relationship.

Our relationship grows as time passes by without us realising it. We had gone through challenges and tests without any failure and these challenges have brought us closer than before. And now we’re 11 days away from our First year anniversary and looking forward for every minute we’re going to spend together.

Im tired of consoling myself whenever I feel down

Im tired of trying to convince myself to look at the bright side when things are not fine or OK

Im tired of being nice to ppl who not only does not appreciate my kindness but actually ditch me for my kindness

Im tired of being patient, telling myself that ppl can change for the better or to look at the positive side of things or ppl

But most of all, Im FU**ING TIRED of bottling everything up in here cos everytime I express myself I am always being shut out!